Body shaming
Body shaming is the act of criticising someone based on the shape, size, or appearance of their body (Cambridge Dictionary, 2020). Anyone can be the target of body shaming.
Body shaming can present itself in the following ways:
- Criticising your own appearance, through a judgement or comparison to another person
- Criticising someone else’s appearance in front of them
- Criticising someone else’s appearance without their knowledge (also known as indirect bullying behaviour).
The Diana Award’s definition of bullying behaviour is
"Repeated, negative behaviour that is intended to make others feel upset, uncomfortable, or unsafe".
No matter how body shaming presents itself, negatively commenting on someone’s appearance can be extremely damaging and can leave lasting impressions, not just mentally but also physically. The impacts are varied but often devastating for many young people who have been targeted by this type of bullying behaviour.
Top tips if you're experiencing this type of bullying behaviour
There’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to responding to body shaming. It depends on many factors, including the type of body shaming you’re experiencing and how confident you feel in challenging what’s been said. Here are some important things to remember:
1_Don’t suffer in silence
Talk to someone you trust, such as a parent, guardian, or teacher about how these negative comments are making you feel, as keeping these emotions to yourself can make things worse. You could also talk to a friend, Anti-Bullying Ambassador or support service. The Diana Award Crisis Messenger provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are a young person in crisis, you can text DA to 85258. Trained volunteers will listen to how you’re feeling and help you think the next step towards feeling better.
2_Create a safe space
If you’re worried about negative comments regarding your appearance, try to establish a support network of people you know and trust. If the bullying behaviour takes place online, you can change your privacy settings or mute, block, or report it.
3_Gather evidence
You should always write down who has been saying what to you, the date, time, and location that the bullying behaviour has taken place. Also, remember to save or screenshot any messages received online.
4_Remember that it’s not your fault
You haven’t caused this bullying behaviour to take place. It is based on unjust prejudice and you are not to blame. Remember that negative comments made towards your appearance does not limit your worth and try to surround yourself with people who lift you up and celebrate you for who you are.
5_Practise being kind towards your body
The kinder you are towards yourself, the more resilient you’ll be when you experience being body shamed. Although the natural changes your body goes through during puberty can feel daunting and isolating, it’s important to remember that there are many others going through similar changes. If you find you’re struggling with your body confidence and self-esteem, read our support article which can be found via The Diana Award’s support centre.
6_Curate your social media
Follow positive accounts and people who post diverse, uplifting messages about body acceptance. Seek out the people who contradict our body shaming culture and support them – the more different types of bodies you start to see, the more you can start to embrace your own body.
7_Challenge behaviour by being an Upstander
If you overhear comments and you feel safe to do so, you should explain to the person that their comments are hurtful and ask that they refrain from saying them in the future.
Everyone has the right to feel comfortable and confident in their own skin – your body is something to be celebrated, not a source of shame. Remember, all kinds of things make up our identity such as our hobbies, likes, dislikes, family, friends, passions and our physical appearance. We are the sum of all of these parts so practise self-love and self-care by writing down the things that you appreciate about yourself and get a best friend or close family member to do the same. The more you do this, the easier it will become. We often focus on the things we don’t like about ourselves and it’s so easy to forget about the things we do like.
How to tackle this type of bullying behaviour in school
If you have experienced or noticed body shaming in your school, there are lots of things you can do to raise awareness and support your peers. Check out our online resource centre for activities you can run in workshops, assemblies or form time; by raising awareness of this issue, your peers can start to reflect and change their behaviour and you can build a more inclusive, supportive school community.
Encourage your school to record bullying incidents by category, including appearance-related bullying behaviour. This ensures the school tracks if this is a recurring issue and takes responsibility for changing this. Your school has a duty of care and should work with you to create an environment where education regarding people’s physical differences takes place and any negative comments regarding someone’s physical appearance are not tolerated.
Further support
The UK’s leading charity with information about mental health in young people.
Leading provider of advice and support to empower anyone experiencing poor mental health. Mind’s website features excellent ideas for increasing your self-esteem.
The UK’s leading charity supporting anyone affected by eating disorders or difficulties with food, weight and shape.
Website with information about issues affecting 16-24 year olds.
A private and confidential service for children and young people up to the age of 19.
Campaign to change attitudes on body image.
The Diana Award Crisis Messenger
Provides free, 24/7 crisis support across the UK. If you are a young person in crisis, you can text DA to 85258. Trained volunteers will listen to how you’re feeling and help you think the next step towards feeling better.
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